Scary
Movie 3. Dimension
Films presents a film directed by David Zucker. Written
by Pat Proft. Running time: 90 minutes. Rated PG-13 (for
pervasive crude and sexual humor, language, comic violence
and drug references). Starring
Anna Faris, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Regina Hall, Leslie
Nielsen, D.L. Hughley. |
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Scary
Movie 3
There
is an air of desperation surrounding Scary Movie 3,
the already the second "comedy" from ex-genius David
Zucker in 2003. I thought that the first, My Boss's Daughter
would be the last shudder from Zucker, the director of such
slapstick classics as Airplane! and The Naked Gun,
before he decided to call it quits, but I was wrong. Scary
Movie 3 has jokes about pedophilic priests, mutilating
a corpse, and even an "American Idol"/Simon
Cowell joke. I was surprised at the lack of "Is that
your final answer?" and "You are the weakest link"
quips.
There
are both positives and negatives to the saturation approach
that has always been employed by Zucker. The good is that,
with all the jokes on screen, the movie seems funny even if
only forty or fifty percent of the jokes hit. The bad is that
if very few of the "jokes" work, it just seems that
much less funny. Scary Movie 3 suffers from this: hundreds
of jokes are tossed in the air, but there are, at best, four
or five genuine laughs in the entire production. Of course,
even in a normal comedy this would be an unsurpassable problem,
but here the sin is grievous.
The
screenplay, again from someone responsible for Airplane!
(Pat Proft), mainly parodies The Ring, Signs,
and, oddly, 8 Mile. As would be expected from a parody
of horror films, the 8 Mile segments are the worst,
but that's sort of like comparing the time you got struck
by lightning to the time you got hit by a car. Scary Movie
3's throwaway (to be kind) plot has the only returning
Scary Movie character, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris),
investigating crop circles at a local farm run by a seemingly
nameless minster-turned-farmer (Charlie Sheen) with a wannabe
rapper brother (Simon Rex). Then Cindy watches a killer videotape
and--
Why
the hell am I even justifying that with a paragraph? There
isn't anything to Scary Movie 3's plot except for a
series of disjointedly connected skits, which I suppose wouldn't
usually be a problem. But since hardly any time watching the
movie is spent laughing, the lack of any cohesive narrative
becomes distracting. And then, since we're focusing on the
story - well, the lack of one - the fact that so few of the
jokes work becomes even more painfully obvious. Scary Movie
3 really is just a train-wreck of immense proportions.
I
am convinced that Anna Faris is a good actress (see May
and Lost in
Translation), but she doesn't do anything special
here, just acts perky and air-headed. Charlie Sheen looks
like he didn't actually want to do the movie but had to for
the money. And Simon Rex is mind-numbingly terrible, delivering
his lines with all the enthusiasm of a six-year-old in a kindergarten
class play.
Scary
Movie 3
is just an awful movie no matter how you spin it. Offensive
without taking enough risks to be shockingly funny, it undermines
the legacy of not only Zucker's previous works, but also that
of the first two Scary Movies, neither of which was
exactly hilarious. It is, quite simply, terrifying.
©
2003 Matt Noller
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